So often we speak only from within our walls and from what we know to be true inside our own secluded world. Then we suffocate any ideas that try to penetrate from the outside before we actually consider them. We assign the new thing (thought, value, movement, etc.) a value from our own cemented thoughts, and then call it false or a lie before simply considering it with a different set of experiences and values. Just because we don’t share or have never had that same experience, we act as if it isn’t true or it doesn’t hold the same value as our own. We don’t bother to try it on, to do our best to stand even for a moment in the place of the other, or even get curious enough to ask learning questions. We run away from learning from it, refuse to look at it, and are quick to kick it out of our box and forget it. Many times we do our best to convince others to do the same. Some would call this ignorance, and maybe it is, but I think that’s too simple. I say it is fear, and essentially an absence of love. What if our knee-jerk reaction to another’s experience was acceptance instead of rejection? That’s not to say that we should believe or buy into everything anyone says. Now that would be ignorance. But why should we automatically reject anything that is different from what we are used to either – that is different from our preformed assumptions? Fear causes it to be nearly impossible for us to have new ears with which to listen to someone or something that is different. We are afraid of change; we are afraid of looking wrong; and we are afraid that if we change our people won’t go with us. Even when we don’t agree with someone, rather than giving them the honor and the credibility that they deserve for having a different life experience, we ridicule and/or we sometimes bully and terrorize them. When really, it would be so easy just to recognize them (and quite frankly, less work) as another human being with a different set of life experiences. That would be love and acceptance – without fear. Everything in this life is not linear, is not of black and white thinking, is not only what you see with your eyes, is not cut up into perfect increments to be served in a universal box. If you can’t see outside of your own box, if you can’t even imagine what it must be like in another box, this world is going to keep bouncing off the corners and we’re never going to get a smooth ride on it together. I invite you, at least for today, to listen instead of thinking about your reply. I invite you, at least for today, to consider that another’s experiences are just as real and true as your own. I invite you, at least for today, to be fearless and loving with your listening. In LOVE, Debora
Don’t get drawn in by the negativity. It’s harder to get out than get in. When you do, simply step out. We are all constant works in progress. If you fall or misstep, you don’t have to stay there. Wage peace. Namasté.
How quick we are to judge someone else’s idea of a hero. How quickly are we to make comparisons of their hero to another hero we approve of. Unfortunately, this is comparing apples to oranges, and only proves that we have no room to grow in our personal ideology. It only shows our unwillingness to stand in another’s shoes and have the possibility of some enlightenment and understanding.
I am weary of everyone comparing Caitlyn Jenner to war heroes (apples and oranges), quoting Bible scriptures about her, and poking fun at her journey. Just because you cannot imagine it, does not make it untrue. Just because it is not true for you, does not mean that it is false. Who are you that you think it is okay to dictate who someone else’s hero should be? Who are you to ridicule someone else’s idea of who their hero is or should be? In my opinion, this is a form of bullying. Yes I said it, bullying!
In case you are still confused or simply unwilling to figure this out on your own:
a: a mythological or legendary figure often of divine descent endowed with great strength or ability
b: an illustrious warrior
c: a man admired for his achievements and noble qualities
d: one who shows great courage
2
a: the principal male character in a literary or dramatic work
b: the central figure in an event, period, or movement
3
plural usuallyhe·ros:submarine 2
4
: an object of extreme admiration and devotion
For those of you who just cannot get past your scriptures and feel the need to laud them over others, here are a few (NIV) to consider before you say another word about Ms. Jenner’s journey. Consider if you rise above any of this criteria:
Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her. John 8:7 NIV
Raise your hand if this is you.
But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also. Matthew 5:39
Have you ever lashed out at anyone you were angry with – ‘ever done a vengeful deed?
For he who said, “You shall not commit adultery,” also said, “You shall not murder.” If you do not commit adultery but do commit murder, you have become a lawbreaker. James 2:11
Have you ever cheated on someone? Have you ever killed someone? (No? Did you go to war?)
When you sit to dine with a ruler, note well what is before you, and put a knife to your throat if you are given to gluttony. Proverbs 23:1, 2
Do you overeat or drink too much?
Hosea Chapter 4 (You must look this one up on your own and read the whole chapter. You will get an interesting view of yourself.)
This will surely give you an idea of just how much with or without sin you actually are.
Give to everyone what you owe them: If you owe taxes, pay taxes; if revenue, then revenue; if respect, then respect; if honor, then honor. Romans 13:7
How often have you been 100% honest on your taxes?
Everyone who sins breaks the law; in fact, sin is lawlessness. 1John 3:4
Wow. It says “everyone,” not some of you.
He will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me. Matthew 25:45
How do you treat animals, people with different beliefs, children, people with disabilities, people you are not fond of, people who live a lifestyle you can’t/won’t understand? Have you ridiculed anyone lately?
Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. 1 Corinthians 13:4-7
This is easy. If what you are saying or doing does not resemble love, then you are simply doing it wrong.
As defined above, there are different kinds of heroes. Men who fought in wars do not hold the definition of hero alone. Caitlyn is a hero to some, and it is not any higher science that she is not seen in the same way some see a war hero. I highly doubt that anyone is suggesting that. You cannot compare Caitlyn to a war hero, just as you cannot compare a war hero to a brave woman who has fought her hardest to overcome a deadly illness. Moreover, because she is not a hero to you, does not mean she is not a hero to someone else. Likewise, one who is a hero to you may not be to someone else. (Mind blown?) Just because you cannot understand something (or refuse to), does not mean it is not real or true for someone else. Perhaps it is a signal that it is time to stretch your brain, your mind, and more importantly, your heart!
On a side but similar note, how many of you that are screaming foul about Caitlyn, are yet standing firm with the Duggar family? Here is your serving of hypocrisy and pretense for the day.
Here is what being willing to learn something new and admitting it looks like:
The man in this article shared a post, his thoughts, and comparisons, about Jenner being considered a hero. He just picked a fairly random photo he pulled from the web and posted it. However, he then took it upon himself to be responsible for the picture he chose to share to illustrate his point. He read a shocking story behind the photo and (Here is the part to pay attention to.) instead of ignoring it, he took full personal responsibility and posted an update with the story about the picture. Notice how many shared this man’s post initially, then pay attention to how many shared his update. I call the latter shameful. It took courage on his part to change his tune once he learned something new. How many of us are willing to do this even in the face of showing we were wrong? How many of us would ignore it be able to hang onto an ideal? That is called a lie, and you can refer to the scriptures above if you would like.
I get that Caitlyn Jenner is up front right now because of whom she is, her celebrity status. To that I say simply, “So what!” This is not my plea for her to be your newest hero, or to even agree that she is one. What is true is that Bruce Jenner was my hero and idol in junior high school. I was even quoted in our school newspaper about that when I was interviewed for “Athlete of the Month,” or something like that. I still think what he accomplished was amazing. As an adult I see it a little differently and would see him as someone I admire for his past athletic talents and hard work.
Do I personally think Caitlyn is a hero? I honestly cannot relate, and that is part of my point today. The closest I can come to relating is memories of a version of me long ago that was uncomfortable in her own skin until I became more authentic in my life. I am now more comfortable and a much happier person. I can see clearly why she is a hero to many, regardless of what my personal beliefs or feelings are on the subject. I am not in their shoes, so I will not endeavor to attempt at proving them wrong or ridiculing anyone for it. If she makes someone in a similar life-situation feel better about themselves, gives them courage and hope, helps someone feel empowered, then who am I to throw stones? My own beliefs are not threatened because someone else has different ones, and I do not make it mean that my beliefs are suddenly null and void or unimportant because of it.
So… about those stones you were throwing? Instead, how about you kick rocks on your judgements and stop bullying. Besides, realize that stone might be returned one day!
I know you are struggling with some issues in your life right now. I know you have some big concerns that are weighing on you. I see and feel that you are hurting.
I want you to know that it is all going to be okay. Really. It may not feel acceptable in this moment, but if you take care of yourself it is all going to work out. It may not be the way you want it to look or think it might look, but there is going to be something there for your higher good. Be patient and I promise you it will reveal itself. Be open for good to show up in spite of what is going on right now. Love yourself more than your attachment to your circumstances.
If your past is hurting you, I want you to consider that it is no longer happening. Whatever was done is done. It is no longer hurting you; hanging onto it is what is hurting. Take charge and drop that hurt on the spot and gently step forward. Now pat yourself on the back. This is enough for today. Tomorrow, take another easy step forward without looking at what you dropped off. Take a moment for a self-hug and breathe. Purpose to care more for yourself than the hurt you were holding onto.
If you are hurting someone, consider that you are also bringing that into your own life. The reasons don’t matter because what you are ushering into your life is the same regardless of the reasons. Haven’t you hurt enough? It’s up to you. You are in charge of ALL of it. Own your experience. It is, whether or not you want it, your responsibility. The sooner you see this, the sooner you can surrender all of it. Love yourself more.
Surrender to that which you claim you want. Claim and own that you are peace, that you are love, that you are trust, that you are harmony, etc. Set an example for yourself. The rest will follow your lead. This is how it works.
So I see you today, and I want you to know that you are not alone. I want you to know there is a way out that will leave you whole and wholly fulfilled. Be willing. Be open. Be receptive. Be honest. Above all, love yourself bigger than what is going on around you. No one has the power to take that away from you, except you, and no one has the ability to give you that kind of love except you! That is the truth.
Debora Lynn: 