Aunties, Uncles, Safe Harbor

It’s just the way I grew up, and I thought everybody had this, and I still think everybody should. Be good to your people. It’s just a thought for the holidays.

Growing up, my aunties and uncles were safe harbor.
Sometimes kids need a safe harbor that isn’t a parent.
Everyone benefits.

Happy all of it from my home to yours.

Standing in Gratitude

As an introvert, putting myself on any display that isn’t as simple as my written words is a huge
S-T-R-E-T-C-H. I periodically recognize when I’m stunted (or stuck), and purposely and purposefully stick my toes (and sometimes neck) in situations or around people that are at first naturally uncomfortable for me. I know if I don’t that I won’t grow, expand, and learn new ways and conversations without doing so. It’s sort of like my interpersonal travel itinerary!

I’ve been going through and growing through some things lately, and I’ve been fortunate enough (and I’d like to think “smart enough”) to have some people around me that have heard me, love me, and are willing to have me do more than just read the “dance steps” — they are inviting me to dance and learn at the same time.

Self-Question and Answer

Q1: How do you know when it’s time to start stretching yourself — to start doing the new things you think about doing and pushing the boundaries of what you think you’re ready to do?
A1: When you crave to do more and you feel restricted in your own skin and your steps feel small.

Q2: How do you know when your change of mind (or self-talk) is working?
A2: When it starts showing up on the outside of you by way of people giving you cause, opportunity, and the space to show up as the new thinking.

Q3: What do you do when you’re scared to pieces of it all?
A3: Say, “Yes!” Do it anyway, repeat, and celebrate.

Q4: How do you get there?
A4: Tell the people that can hear your words and love you enough to drag you to the life-stretching class.

Q5: What if you do the thing (“thang”) and you don’t feel like it was your best?
A5: Refer back to A3.

Q6: What if I’m just so nervous about it all and I feel like I can’t follow through?
A6: Put your feet on the ground and stand in gratitude for the opportunity, the people, and circumstances that got you here.

You can always get a tattoo placed where you can always see it to remind you of who you say you are! Buuut… that’s not a one-size-fits-all solution! 😉

There’s nothing better than to be seen and heard.

👉 Me, Myself, and I 👈

Good, bad, or indifferent, I’m the common denominator in every event and circumstance in my life. If I get to take credit for the celebration and praise-worthy instances, I must also take responsibility and credit for the lackluster and substandard occasions as well.

The way in was me, and so it is for the way out. If I want more, then I stay the course. If I want change, like everything else, that movement begins with me as well.

Simply because I’m human and share the planet, life sends me surprises. I may not be responsible for that, but I am still at the center of the space created from my own response.

Time to Grow

It occurred to me today on my walk with the dogs that the grass in this picture that I took not only managed to grow up through the cracks in this heavily traveled main street in my neighborhood, but it has even managed to push out some of the pavement. Not only did the grass have the pavement as an obstruction, and the heavy traffic, but it is also winter!

I was thinking about the many occasions in my life when I just felt stuck or trapped.  Other times I was scared or frustrated that I couldn’t see my way out of a situation. There were also the dark nights of the soul.  I know I’m not alone here.  We all go through “stuff.”  The point is, we “go through.”  Sometimes WE go through, and other times we can’t even recollect how the heck we GOT through, right?  The point is, we did, and we likely will again!  It is hard to remember or have the patience for it when we are in the thick of it.  But is is imperative that we remember!

So back to this grass….  🙂  Here is the good news part.  That grass can’t “see” the light, yet it is designed to reach upward towards the light — even in the dead of winter; even underneath tons of pavement; even with vehicles running over it many times a day; even covered completely in darkness; even without external encouragement.  We would consider these conditions less than favorable, and perhaps even impossible.  Yet it grows.

I am not known widely for my patience, but as I have grown older, I am learning daily to just let things “be” and wait them out.  I suppose that’s growing.  What I know is that it almost always works out, but when it doesn’t and I look back, it really did work out for my highest good.  I suppose that’s growing, too… the realization of that.  I did some big growing standing on that street looking at that grass for a few minutes.  Now I know that it’s not just about waiting it out, but there’s something for me to do while I’m “stuck” or “trapped” or “can’t see.”

It’s time to grow right where I am.