Outside Inside My White Skin

An Invitation and a Challenge

Yep, here I go again!  Buckle up!

Yes, the timeout is first!

Before I continue and dig into what I am really here to say today, let me take a timeout and acknowledge the elephants of the day in the room — first, the horrific terrorist mass murder in Charleston, SC a few days ago.  Here is my simple statement on that and all the blind rhetoric flying around: Every act of violence is NOT a mental illness. Crazy… likely. But a TRUE mental ILLNESS, no! Face it, some people are just blinded and ruled by hate. Hate (fear in an ugly, dangerous form) will make us do crazy things! Stop making excuses for scum because it makes you feel better.  I am proud of the people that are willing to forgive, and I wish for the day when I can also feel that way.  I am working on it.  Currently, I hope that little murdering flea and his ilk rot in Hell… s l o w l y.

Next, is Rachel Dolezal, the woman who was a local President of an NAACP chapter who is a white woman that attempted to be black… or as one of my sons said, acting in blackface. For the sake of space and time to read, let me just say that she has unfortunately made herself and her just causes a non-issue.  I can’t know what her deep, true motivations are that caused her to perpetrate this lie, so I won’t even touch it.  I feel sad.  I feel sad that she did some good things under a lie, and she did some other things that are contradictory to what she says her cause is.  Someone in an article postulated that she probably did it out of being tired of not being heard because of her white skin.  I actually totally get that – in real time!  However, I am white and I can sympathize, use my brain and heart to see and feel, to reason, and even to empathize in some ways.  But at the end of the day, well the beginning, too… I am white and I don’t and won’t attempt to pretend otherwise. I hope she comes to one day.  As for her family, they are suspect in my eyes.  WHAT family throws their daughter under the bus as they did, regardless of what she’s done? What a bunch of losers.

The Confederate Flag needs to be taken down and put into the annals of “things that are just wrong in our history and other losers.”  If you think it should remain up because “it’s a piece of our history,” you are lying and I am calling you out on that.  I won’t even get into how streets, buildings, and other public and government properties are named after Confederate figures.  Yes, it’s a piece of our history, but so is murdering innocent indigenous peoples, no seatbelts, banning Filipinos from entering the country, women and blacks being prohibited from voting, segregation, etc., etc., etc!  You get my point.  And if you are one of those that wishes those days back, then YOU need to leave this country, not me.  Next!

Now, here’s the meat for today.

In my experience in my skin, rarely does anyone want to hear this white woman’s thoughts about the struggle for and by black people in this country.  There are white people that roll their eyes or check out when I talk about my thoughts, and there are black people that think I don’t have a clue and think that my thoughts on the subject are meaningless.  Waaaaaaay back when I was a school kid, there were others that thought I wanted to be black (As if!), and they gave me a terrible time about it.  What these idiots didn’t realize was that they were only assisting me in my ideals that there was something wrong.  Thanks!  I hope some of you have become more enlightened since then.  And no, I haven’t forgotten who you are.

I have more than a simple vested interest in the treatment of black people in this country.  A large part of my family is not white, and a very large portion of that is black.  I am a part of this multicultural, multiracial family, and they will always be a part of me, who I am, and how I think.  I love my family and am proud of it, just as I am sure you love yours and are likewise proud.  Your disinterest in what I have to say, your scoffing at my personhood and my knowledge and feelings, your racial brush-off to me translates that you think that somehow my children are less important to me than your children are to you.  Read that last sentence again; I suspect a few of you digested it incorrectly the first time.  It also means that somehow I have lived on this Earth for 50+ years and have spent it with my head in the sand, and my heart in my sequestered white ego.  First, let me bulldoze that pile and let you know that nothing is further from the truth. Next let me save you the personal time of denying it.  You haven’t realized that is what your dismissal means, but that is what it means whether you admit it or not, whether you want to examine it or not.  I learned a very long time ago that my kids and I are on a particular island that not many really care to visit.  Whatever color your own skin, if you think this is solely a “black” issue, then you are not only a part of the problem, you are ACTIVELY CONTRIBUTING to the problem.

As for the next person that says “Slavery ended 150 years ago; get over it!”, well you can go crawl in your teeny tiny dark corner and just rot away, because you are a waste of precious oxygen on this planet.  Are you really that NARROW MINDED, that BLIND, that UNAWARE that you think unfair treatment and practices (and much worse) ended with slavery?  WAKE UP!  If you want to know why black people hate, distrust, or are afraid of the police and other people in power, just research OUR AMERICAN HISTORY!  Someone said to me the other day, “But why do they run when they are stopped by the police?”  Now this is not a dumb question.  If you have not had the experience of a black person, have not been exposed to the experiences of a black person, AND you don’t have family that can tell you stories handed down of decades of abuse in an effort to warn you about these abuses, then I expect you really do not know.  However, what I would hope is that we can ALL have a listening ear and heart when someone (anyone!) is speaking on their experiences.  By the way, thank you to that person who heard what I said about that question.

My reasons for anything and everything worthwhile.  9/2011

My personal rainbow. And this is only part of my family and wonderful people
I choose to surround myself!  🙂   9/2011

Those that cannot or refuse to admit how things really are in this country are just afraid to.  You are afraid to admit it because you think it will mean something personal about you, your actual person, your family.  You may be right if that is the way you feel, if you take it that personally.  Do you want to know the best way to stop feeling like that?  Step OUT of your tired skin and make a difference for your fellow human beings.  You would do it for your own family!  Have you forgotten that we are ALL of the human RACE?

The human race is the ONE and ONLY true RACE, by the way.  Race, as a category, is a man-made concept.  Yep!  Go research it.  I am not going to hold your hand on this one.  WE MADE THIS SHIT UP!  There is no biological, scientific backing for separating us into color categories.  NONE.  It serves only to separate us.  That is it!  Well done, wouldn’t you say?

With that said, I am here to tell you that it is, however, important that we do recognize each other’s race at this time in our history.  It speaks to the essence of who we are individually, where we have been, our probable life experiences, AND it does NOT define us in totality.  Confused yet?  Color blindness does not serve anyone, and is a myth anyway.  It is a way of pretending that “I don’t see who you are and it doesn’t matter.”  The melting pot is just something we throw people into that tries to melt others into what “we” want them to be, to assimilate into our own ideas.  I would rather have a salad chock full of all the flavors that you can see and taste individually that are wonderful each on their own, and are just as wonderful when thrown in together.  Yes, I’m laughing at my corny self right now, but that is really how I feel.

If you are feeling injury right about now and are making this monologue mean that I don’t like white people, that I’m abandoning my own (Yes, I’ve heard all this before.), that I’m prejudiced or racist against white people, that I don’t care about the bad things that happen to whites… well, you have missed the point entirely then, and/or you still aren’t listening.  I give you one last chance at this juncture to hop down off your high horse and experience more of life, a life that has nothing to do with your individual skin.  I invite you to try on some new ideas and ideals today.  I invite you to stop being afraid.  I challenge you to step out of the masses and the cog thinking.

I suspect that there are still some that are wondering just what my deal is.  If I sound angry, I am.  Besides what I think should be the obvious reasons for having humanity in my heart, there are people that want to kill and do other horrible things to people that look JUST LIKE MY CHILDREN.  NOW DO YOU GET IT? If you still don’t, then all I can say is I hope you get help for your blindness and willful stupidity.

Complicated?  Confusing?  Yes!  And I say, “So what!”  Wake up and stand up, or please just shut up!  White privilege is a real thing.  Mistreatment of people of color is a thing – to put it all lightly.  I will no longer be sporadic with my voice on this.  So either be prepared to deal with me, get on with me, or exit from my life.  I have ushered others out before you.  Consider that your experience is not the template for others, and consider that other experiences contrary to your own are actually real.  We don’t have to agree, but I insist on respect.  Try on acceptance vs. tolerance.

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