Tag Archives: peace

But I Love ALL People

I often wonder if we truly came to realize how much our apathy, our overt and covert racism, homophobia, genderism (or pick an ism/phobia) hurts us on a personal level — would we finally do something about it? If we found out it was making us sick, if we felt it in our own lives, on our own bodies, in our own homes, in our own minds, would we finally be compelled to do something? Or would we still just be stuck on “right” to save face and suffer silently, or blame it on “them?” I think we put a lot of energy into saving face, and a lot of running from the truth… or even mangling it, covering it up. We think, “I’m not the one; surely it’s not me,” and even get mad when confronted.

We put a LOT of energy into this, and yet we think we remain unaffected by the covering up, the pretending, the avoidance to look at ourselves squarely and honestly. We put on a mask when we go about our daily business outside of the home, but when we return the mask is put away and we discuss all about “those people,” and we have strong opinions on people we can’t even see honestly. We pretend (or do we really believe this) that if we don’t talk about it, refuse to give it attention, that we somehow are not contributing to the racism, the homophobia, Islamic hatred, etc. We tell ourselves and others that we just won’t participate in the discussions because that would be contributing to the problem. But…

WHEN HAS IGNORING SOMETHING EVER MADE IT BETTER?

If you let it, this might set you free from the invisible box you have created for yourself and probably the children you might be influencing…. Do you know that you don’t even have to understand how or why people are who they are to just let them live, and even to love them? And here’s the REAL personal freedom…. Once you are able to embrace that, it’s no effort to embrace them just as they are. That’s where love lives, and that’s what it looks like.

We like to say that we love all people, don’t we? It sounds right, and feels good to say — even seems logical. For added theatrics or emphasis, we even wave our hand when we say it as if we’re brushing off how ridiculous it is to even have to say it out loud.

  • You have a good relationship with your Black neighbor, and your kids even play together.
    • But do you love Black PEOPLE?
  • That Muslim woman in the next cubicle is hilarious, and you frequently lunch together.
    • But do you love Muslim PEOPLE?
  • The Mexican woman who babysits your children during the past four summers is a wonderful addition to your lives and with whom you entrust your children. She even teaches them Spanish!
    • But do you love Mexican PEOPLE?
  • You’re nice to Emily, the transgender checker at the grocery store that you look forward to seeing every week.
    • But do you love transgender PEOPLE?
  • Your love your cousin who is gay and you get along great with him and his husband.
    • But do you love gay PEOPLE?

I’m sure you’re onto me by now, and may have already begun making excuses before you reached the end of the list or stopped reading the list altogether. Hopefully none of that’s true and you get the point. But if it is true, I hope you ask yourself why that is, and I hope you go even further and begin really thinking about this. One thing that can happen is that you will start showing up as the person you’ve been saying you are. You remember — the one that loves all people!

I get it. (I don’t, actually, but I do know something about this personally.) You’re secretly afraid of what other people in your circles might think. You don’t want to admit it, but it’s true. You’re afraid of what you will lose, and this is a driving force for so many of us that causes us sometimes to double down on the excuses, and why so many of us turn to apathy, ignoring, or defending all the “good people on both sides.” We are more afraid of how we might look, what we might lose, or even who we might have to talk to in a new way.

Freedom. That’s what you get. You get freedom from the excuses, freedom from toxic ideas and people. You get new vision, and you get to do the work of self-repair, self-reflection, and self-love instead of the arduous work of covering up, the laziness of apathy and tolerating, and the sweat-work of defending terrible people, systems and ideations. You get freedom from the pain of giving and being an assist to systems that hurt other people. You will lose some; you will. And then you will be free from people who won’t operate on a higher level of humanity.

Operating from this is also work, but it isn’t the kind that hurts us on a soul level or the level of hurting humanity. In fact, it’s actually restorative on a cellular level. And the best part of all… you will be on your way to telling the truth when you say, “I LOVE ALL PEOPLE.”

In the Heart Lives Justice

You can enslave a body.
You can even trick a mind into believing it’s so.
But you’ll never enslave a heart that knows its right to be free.

You can cage a body.
You can manipulate the mind to believe it’s locked.
But you’ll never smother a heart from being free.

You can cast a body into darkness.
You can convince the mind that it’s in an abyss.
But you’ll never consume the light from the heart.

You can refuse to see the effects of bondage.
You can let your mind choose deafness.
But you’ll never silence a heart that longs for justice.

You can turn away from the past.
You can silence your mind to the facts.
But the heart that has been chained will not let you rest.

You can busy the body endlessly.
You can overwhelm the mind with details.
But you can’t silence a heart that grows toward the sunlight.

You can use a body as a barrier.
You can chain a mind to the fools.
But another’s heart you cannot own.

You can kill the body.
You can kill the mind.
But the heart’s beat will be heard beyond its life.

You can take a body.
You can take over a mind.
But the heart chooses why it beats.

You can jail a body.
You can incarcerate a mind.
The heart roams where it wants.

You can beat a body.
You can gaslight a mind.
But the heart is made of freedom.

You can chain a body.
You can warp the mind.
You can’t fool the heart.

You can blind the body.
You can persuade the mind it’s captive.
But the heart will always know it beats for the whole.

You can keep a body in poverty.
You can train a mind to believe it’s stuck.
The heart will always know it belongs to the universe.

You can separate a body from its birthright.
You can teach a mind to hate.
But the heart yearns to be free from that bondage.

You can engulf the body in hegemony.
You can train the mind to ignore bias.
The heart absorbs the toxins.

You can dress a body like it’s free.
You can teach a mind to live in the masses.
But the heart will continue to cry out: No justice, no peace.

Debora Lynn Garcia

It’s okay to be still.

It’s okay to be still.
It’s okay to sit in the silence even in the presence of another.
Don’t believe for a second that nothing is happening if you aren’t in constant motion.
You are but a tiny speck in the whole of it, and it doesn’t all stop because you do.
It’s okay to wait because you do not know what to do next — or even if you do.

There is power in the stillness and the silence.
Don’t be afraid of it. The truth is there.
Healing resides there.
There are answers there. There is peace there.
There is growth there.

There is so much living in the stillness and silence.
There is so much to hear.
There is so much to see.
Don’t miss it.

It's okay to be still.

So my father died, and I was just thinking….

I got something HUGE out of sitting in the silence just now.


I was on my deck listening to the breeze, wind chimes, and my wonderful miniature wind gong.  My father died a couple of days ago.  I was taking a breather from an emotional few weeks and an emotional data dump into another solar system (well, that’s what it felt like) that I just released on Facebook a couple hours earlier.  My dear friend, Moe, sent me a note of encouragement about my Facebook post (data dump) and my previous blog post (“The Dark Soul and Little Spitfire“), and I stated something to him about how many of my blog posts have a distinct topic, but are vague or esoteric in nature.  That is by design — no accident, because it is kind of like a song.  You know how a song means different things to different people?  I might hear a song one way, and you hear it differently, or it has a different meaning for me than you.  That is the reason I am vague and casual in my blog posts many times.  I want the topic to be clear, but the parameters to be set by the reader.  This way it can have many meanings, and the meaning/s can even change over time as our thinking and experiences evolve as well.

I think my style is effective for the purposes I mentioned above.  However, here’s the meat.  What I got while sitting in the silence was how extremely ineffective it has been for me in my real, in-living-color life.  I am a natural introvert, and a reluctantly-learned extrovert; so this is a tragic, perfect fit.  There are times in life when diplomacy is most certainly called for, and a lack of it can cause more harm than good.  There are times when tact and/or caution are necessary.  But I see how tip-toeing around myself in order to avoid injury to others down my path of personal healing has only prolonged and deepened the injuries.  I am not saying one should just bulldoze over people and their feelings, but I AM saying that I have forgotten who I am to myself.  I have forgotten to treat myself like the one and only me that I will ever, ever, EVER have.  Why should I not treat myself the way I try to treat others whom I revere, and the way that I advise them to treat themselves?  So rather than opening myself up to personal things, I am… VAGUE.  And if I want to get deep with it, that’s not really an honest way of being.

Now, don’t get me wrong.  I can talk and TALK about all kinds of things.  I have been told more than a few times that I talk too much!  But if you’re one to really pay attention, you would notice that next to none or absolutely ZERO of what I was talking about had anything very personal or vulnerable about me in it.  If you feel this is not true about me, then consider yourself one of the chosen extreme few.  That’s not bragging, by the way, it’s part of today’s epiphany.

I also get that my vague style of communicating personal things is a protection.  I am sure as I am Irish that it is my own training.  All the way to his death, if you didn’t agree with my father, you were going to pay.  So, I mastered “vague.”  Hell, I JUST said to my husband THIS very morning after I posted my data dump, “I will probably never fully trust anyone.” Wow. Way to go…  Team… ➟➟➟➟➟➟ of ONE!  How convenient for someone who wants to stay stuck in the beige realm.  (Is that taupe or ecru?  No one really knows.)

I will remember to revere 

myself,

and take care of 

my one and
only 

ME! ღ

Finally, what I got in the silence today is that by being vague about how I feel, or stepping around things, as my cousin and I talked about, rather than going through them, I’m setting myself and others up to be nuked or data dumped on — like today.  I have lots of feelings and words just swarming around dying to get out!  So if I pressure cook them without releasing the valve at the appropriate time, “She’s gonna blow, Captain!”  What I said in my post on Facebook, I meant.  My regret is that I didn’t say it all sooner and handle it under the category of self-care rather than anger and hurt.

An Aside:  I just took a break from writing this blog post to read some of  the comments on Facebook.  After I posted my blast, I purposely ignored it for a while.  I was fully expecting some cricket noises, maybe a few thumbs-up, and possibly some negative returns.  But I am in tears right now instead at the support I have received.  This is what happens when you put yourself on an island in your mind instead of sharing.  You begin to think you are alone in your feelings and experiences.  I am touched by the kind and caring comments, as well as some private messages, text messages, and phone calls I have received in response.  I hate to sound cliché, but my mind is just blown.  It is time for me to do the work of someone who is ready to move forward from where I’ve been stuck.

I am sad.  I am tired.  My head hurts.  I feel a little less angry today, but I see I have a ways to go, and I fully understand it is totally up to me to find my way to peace.  This is a journey I have to take alone.  I don’t mean that in that lonely, sad way — like “I don’t want anyone around” way, or “There is no one to help me” lugubrious way.  It just is what it is!  Some lessons and transformation are truly and simply a journey for one.

So, what am I going to do about this revelation?  What am I going to do next?  I’m going to buy more wind chimes, that’s for sure.  Those things are MAGIC… like Tinkerbell!  For sure I need to be responsible.  What that looks like is no longer allowing people to abuse my time, which includes family gossip and anything or anyone that just doesn’t feel good or right, or anything that puts me in the position of aligning myself with someone that consistently and purposely makes others feel bad.  After that… I need to stay present and conscious, and I’ll just keep breathing (both directions), learning, and sharing.  

Stay with me.  I’m sure my ride is not over.

ღ Love yourself. ღ

Little Spitfire
I would like to go back
and hug her so tight!

Debora Lynn

P.S.  “Follow” my blog if you want to keep up with me (button on the far right side).  Some of my posts are going to change tone.  When it makes sense, you’re going to see more clearly who I’m writing about. 


Work in Progress


Don’t get drawn in by the negativity.  It’s harder to get out than get in. When you do, simply step out.  We are all constant works in progress.  If you fall or misstep, you don’t have to stay there.  Wage peace.

Namasté.



A Day In the Life of a Sensitive Soul

Sensitive soul
Seized by ugliness
Surrounded by meanness
Hemmed in by damage
I absorb it all down through my soul
My cells weakened by it all
My soul can’t take another hit
I wonder why I am so sensitive
Why I attract damaged souls
Irrationality finds me under every glimmer
Why can’t I be Teflon

My soul craves peace, but it eludes me at every turn
Teases me at every corner
Calls out to me behind every door
Blows by the window
Wafts by my face
Flits about my nose
Taps me on my head
Brushes against me
Before it whisks away, never to stay

Too hurt to reach out anymore
Too tired of being turned upon
Too unsure of what to do next
Too bewildered by misunderstanding
Longing for days that won’t come back
Regretting choices that can’t be turned around
Betrayed by promises never fulfilled
Saddened by bottomless circumstances
Disillusioned by treacherous souls
Weary from forcing smiles
I dream of days of do-overs

It all affects me
Family, friends, health, the news, the world
I am paralyzed today
Unable to move
Laden with the weight of it all
Absorbed by my super soft cells
Like an infinite sponge
Incapable of wringing it away
Disabled by my thoughts

Knowing how some that call me love would see this
Only stumbles me more
Shoves me down further
Smothers me like a sack
At once stirs up fiery anger
And echoing sadness in a mix
That anchors me in my hole
Filled up with my own slippery thoughts
They don’t understand
And see me with eyes that lack empathy
I don’t need sympathy
But I know it’s a rare gem that feels it, too

And now the clock is speeding up
I have but hours to climb up
To fix my face, my home, my meals
To adjust my thoughts, finish my tasks
To find my smile and practice my laugh
Before my time is no longer mine alone
Because the day is more important
Because the few who rely on me mean more
At least that is what I tell myself, but really
Because only sensitive souls are supposed to know

                       by Debora Lynn Garcia



Dear Friend, I See You

Dear Friend,
I know you are struggling with some issues in your life right now.  I know you have some big concerns that are weighing on you.  I see and feel that you are hurting.
I want you to know that it is all going to be okay.  Really.  It may not feel acceptable in this moment, but if you take care of yourself it is all going to work out.  It may not be the way you want it to look or think it might look, but there is going to be something there for your higher good.  Be patient and I promise you it will reveal itself.  Be open for good to show up in spite of what is going on right now.  Love yourself more than your attachment to your circumstances. 
If your past is hurting you, I want you to consider that it is no longer happening. Whatever was done is done.  It is no longer hurting you; hanging onto it is what is hurting.  Take charge and drop that hurt on the spot and gently step forward.  Now pat yourself on the back.  This is enough for today.  Tomorrow, take another easy step forward without looking at what you dropped off.  Take a moment for a self-hug and breathe.  Purpose to care more for yourself than the hurt you were holding onto.
If you are hurting someone, consider that you are also bringing that into your own life.  The reasons don’t matter because what you are ushering into your life is the same regardless of the reasons.  Haven’t you hurt enough? It’s up to you. You are in charge of ALL of it.  Own your experience. It is, whether or not you want it, your responsibility.  The sooner you see this, the sooner you can surrender all of it.  Love yourself more.
Surrender to that which you claim you want.  Claim and own that you are peace, that you are love, that you are trust, that you are harmony, etc.  Set an example for yourself.  The rest will follow your lead.  This is how it works.
So I see you today, and I want you to know that you are not alone.  I want you to know there is a way out that will leave you whole and wholly fulfilled.  Be willing.  Be open.  Be receptive.  Be honest.  Above all, love yourself bigger than what is going on around you.  No one has the power to take that away from you, except you, and no one has the ability to give you that kind of love except you!  That is the truth.
What are you waiting for?
With great love,
Debora Lynn




Dear God… Thanks!

Dear God, thank you for this great country I live in.  I want to thank you in advance for a country healed, a country united, a country progressing, a country that lives inside a world that works for everyone and leaves no one out.  I am grateful to live in a place that lets me pray with others and not in fear or seclusion.
Divine Spirit, please speak to those who make choices for our country that they remain mindful of its citizens.  Please remind us all to be patient with one another – we are indeed in this together as one nation, just as we are divinely one.
I pray today also for the safety of our troops abroad and at home.  Please bless them with a healing light and a light that guides them home safely.  I pray and give thanks for an end to the fighting soon.
Dear God, I pray for the prosperity of this country, as well as each individual.  Please keep us mindful of those that cannot help themselves, and those who need our temporary help to fill in a gap.  Please keep them safe, covered, and fed until they can be on their own two feet again.  I am grateful that you carried me through those times.
I am so thankful for, as I like to say, “my real life where I park my car.”  I am eternally grateful for my healthy family, and so blessed to have such wonderful children – healthy, smart, hard-working, and respectful.  Also, I stand in gratitude for a husband that supports me in whatever path I choose for myself.  Thank you for a group of parents that love me just the way I am, and even when how I am changes.  I love and am so proud of my diverse family, which includes everyone from third cousins to family add-ons that we choose, and our furry kids.  I am so blessed.
Finally, I come to you in gratitude for the gift of forgiveness – from me and for me.  I know that everything is in divine order ALL the time, and that no matter how its outward appearance shows itself to me, You have the master plan.  Thank you for the many blessings of your divine love.  I pray these things and give thanks for all through the light and love of Jesus Christ, our wayshower.  Amen.

Waging peace is how I learned from her.

I wrote this on January 12, 2013, after finding out about a dear friend transitioning (passing):  

An earth angel has left us behind to take her place in Heaven.  As is her usual way, she made one last check of things and flew off with her delicate little wings out the window to begin her new journey.

Feeling blessed and thankful today to have known and been touched by such a wonderful spirit.  I’ve tried to find them, but words do not exist to explain the kindness, gentleness, patience, and example of unconditional love she so quietly exhibited to all who paid attention.  She was living proof that strength and wisdom can come in the gentlest, quietest way.  I celebrate her life – quietly.

My heart goes out to the George family, and a little piece of it with “Mom.”  Prayers of condolence, healing, and the grace of light and peace….    ❤

All I can say is, you had to have known her to fully “get” this.  I hadn’t seen her in about 10 years, and refused to say goodbye to her the last time I had a chance.  I wasn’t mad at her.  I adored her.  Circumstances at the time felt like I may not see her again, and I was too brokenhearted to face her.  Odd thing is, I know she never harbored judgement about it. I know this because I knew her.  Damn… I wish you would have known her.

Challenge!

Allow me to digress for a moment to catch you up:  My new game on this planet is “wage peace.”  Our pastor gave a fabulous Sunday lesson several months ago about focusing on war, fighting, and struggle.  It was about what we focus on will persist.  For some reason this really resonated with me that Sunday, and continues to whisper in my ear.  So I am on a mission to wage peace.  How this looks for me is that when something that comes up that feels hard, uncomfortable, a struggle, or defying reasonable explanation, I seek to find the lesson in it rather than resisting it or being angry.

With that explained, my friend transitioning was a perfect opportunity to go inward and see what I learned from her.  It was easy to figure out, though I was surprised at what a big deal it was.  Here’s what I learned:

I was lost in thought today about my friend that made her transition, and considering what I learned from knowing her, and recognizing what I wish I had learned sooner.

I like to garden – play in the dirt.  I was thinking today about self-propagating plants.  Those are the kind from which you can pull a piece off and start a completely new plant, i.e., jade plant, coleus, cactus, etc.

Here is what I learned.  Our hearts are like those plants.  When we give a piece away, it lives on; and who knows how many times that piece might be parted out again.  It is so worth it and keeps you alive.  Sometimes it might get broken, but it still lives on even outside of you because you shared it.

If you lock it up and never give it away, it withers and may shrink away or forget what it is like to be shared.  It cannot thrive that way.  So give pieces away freely and often.

Freely give pieces of your heart away.  The return is great.  Plant pieces of it wherever you go — even if you do not get to see what comes of it.  When you pluck a piece from your heart, new stems grow and your capacity becomes greater and more opportunities to give it away appear.  Much like a plant NEEDS to be trimmed and plucked for its vitality and further growth, so it goes with our hearts.

Giving your heart away is not the same as giving up your heart.  It is also not the same as “giving it up” or “putting out.”  You must love yourself FIRST so your heart can take root and grow strong to weather the storms that WILL come.  When you love yourself first, you can give pieces away and be stronger for having done so.  If not, you may give your heart up to someone or something – abandoning it, neglecting it, forsaking it.  It will uproot easily like that plant that has not been cared for properly.  Its roots are shallow and poor.  So love yourself first and grow a strong foundation and deep roots.

So plant away!  Peace out….