Tag Archives: government

Looking Beyond 9/11

Yes, I remember vividly where I was and what I was doing on this day at this time 23 years ago. It was horrific and a terrible way to wake up, to watch such an event knowing that people were suffering and dying as I watched safely, stunned and in disbelief from my futon in my living room on my little 20-inch TV with the rabbit ears. I was getting ready for work and had turned the morning news on like I always did. I remember trying to think of how I would explain this to my children, and wondering if anything more would happen and suddenly wondering if we, too, were in danger. I remember hardly any traffic on the road, getting to work late — we were pretty much all late — all of us stunned, crying, and hardly any patients showing up that day. The hospital was on high security alert. I remember one physician in our office, who was always crass, being just as ill-mannered as she always was, and I remember thinking I wanted to tear her hair out for being such a tremendous bitch about it, having no heart for how overwhelmed people were feeling that day. I remember just how eerily quiet it was for many days due to air and ground transportation coming to a halt, and having this disarranged thought that it was also lovely and peaceful. 

This day, memorialized each year, no longer gives me a sense of patriotism — just immense sadness. I see what we’ve become since this day and how we’ve celebrated our patriotism right into being something worse than what we thought we were before that day.

I’m not going to applaud the USA on this day. I’m also not going to have an overdue honest discussion about how American imperialism causes so many of our own issues, including the tragedy on 9/11. Today, I am just going to go quietly about my business, praying for and remembering the truly innocent souls that were lost on that day at the hands and the whim of others that also included our own “leaders.” I’m going to be grateful for the heroes of the fire departments, other first responders and even private citizens who jumped into action, not even knowing all that they were up against. They saved some, they lost some, and many of them were also lost — literally and figuratively.

The first responders were doing their jobs, but really over and above what they were paid and trained to do. Some readers may not realize that they are not obligated as a condition of their employment to run into situations such as that. So I am grateful. In all honesty, though, I do wonder that if it had been my son, who is a Firefighter/Paramedic, if I would feel gratitude. I wonder if it would just be anger or immense sadness and loss. I pray I never find out.

I’m also not going to “God bless the USA” today. We hear talk and reminisce about how we all became family on 9/11 and subsequent weeks, suddenly recognizing our connectedness, having been jerked into remembering what was important, forced into the intense moment of NOW, foregoing the thoughts of the mundane day to day drudgery. But I’m not going to applaud behavior that we should exhibit everyday towards one another no matter what is going on. The goodness that did come from that day, that eked out, should be our mere baseline.

We also saw some repulsive behavior. I know in Phoenix, Arizona, where I lived at that time, we surely did. We saw horrible acts of violence against those thought to be Middle Eastern due to our complete lack of understanding and willful ignorance.
FEAR.
ANGER with no perceived outlet.
I won’t forget that either. And I won’t forget that we still suffer from this racist affliction to this day. In many ways, whether we were there or not, we were all victims of 9/11 in some form or fashion, and continue to be.

I will pray for and remember the service women and men who were called into action either here in the states or sent over to the Middle East after this to fight a “war” that was not of their own making. I’m praying for those still in the thick of it due to a country that creates ongoing war and sends some of our most vulnerable populations to fight and kill on its behalf, that still uses propaganda from 9/11 to incite, excite, and encourage acts of war.

So, no, I won’t be raising my fists in the air chanting today, or driving around town with an obnoxious 8-foot American flag anchored in the bed of my pickup flying behind me, or taking pictures of myself wrapped in the American flag. Instead, I will be praying for the souls that were lost on that day, in the days following, and in years after because of their exposure to all of the toxic chemicals from the fires and debris. Those people got up to go to work or go wherever it was they had planned, not knowing what a horrific day it would be or how it would end. I will pray for those who have lingering physical and/or mental trauma from what they saw, what they endured, or because of loved ones they lost on that day or ones lost as a result of war. I will not participate in the furthering of war or the romanticizing of a man-made tragedy.

So today, I want to examine how I can be a catalyst for peace and look for where I fall short. I will just say, “God bless us all,” and pray that we all learn one day to come and go in peace and finally create a nation that heeds its own words written so purposefully long ago:

The Firemen and the Flag On the morning of September 11, 2001, Lori Grinker, a professional photographer with the internationally renown agency, Contact Press Images, left her apartment in Williamsburg, Brooklyn. On her way to the subway, she glimpsed the Trade Centers on fire rising over the Brooklyn Queens Expressway. She began photographing. She quickly found her way to the Williamsburg Bridge, and walked all the way to the site of the attack at the World Trade Center where she spent several hours photographing the devastation. At approximately 3:30 pm she was standing in front of the bombed out windows on the second floor of Two World Financial Center when the three firefighters walked into her view and proceeded to raise the American flag over the smoldering ruins. Copyright copyright, Lori Grinker, 2001
“The Firemen and the Flag”
copyright, Lori Grinker, 2001
More peaceful days, please.

P.S. Here is a song I learned 20 years ago in church

“Let There Be Peace on Earth”
By Jill Jackson-Miller and Sy Miller

Let there be peace on earth
And let it begin with me;
Let there be peace on earth,
The peace that was meant to be.

With God our creator*
We are family,
Let us walk with each other
In perfect harmony.

Let peace begin with me,
Let this be the moment now;
With every step I take,
Let this be my solemn vow:

To take each moment and live each moment
In peace eternally.
Let there be peace on earth
And let it begin with me.

Copyright by Jan-Lee Music, 1955, 1983. All rights reserved. Used with permission.
*Copyright-protected alternate lyrics.

Missing Wheels, Broken Heels, and the Future

You can’t get to a better present or a new future without acknowledging the past, and you can’t apologize your way out of bad behavior without reform.

Acknowledge
Action
Commitment
Integrity

Relationships, reparations, business, neighbors… all of it is really about relationships, is it not?

Most of us say we want a better or brighter future, but fail to do anything different. We sit here and wait on someone else to change it so we can step into it and say, “Look at me in this new thing!” Then we pat ourselves on the back and wonder why we get stuck again.

We hurt each other, and sometimes we take a corrective course, but fail at acknowledging what happened. Can you imagine bringing your car home from the shop with only three wheels? The shop fixed everything else, but the front passenger tire was removed because it was flat. Well, you don’t have the flat tire anymore, right? Have you ever had your shoes polished? They look so great afterwards – all clean and shiny. But what if you got them back with a heel missing? Yes, it’s like that when you forget the acknowledgement. Your shoes look great, but the function is just off, and no one notices how shiny they are, just that your heel is missing and you’re walking weird. Then to add to the ridiculousness of it all, you’re trying your darnedest to ignore what’s wrong with the shoes and keep talking about how clean and shiny they are.

Relationships are like that. Corrective action doesn’t mean a whole lot without conversation about the problem and a meaningful apology, and especially if it has been an ongoing issue. The other person likely sees what you’ve corrected, but is now standing by for you to resume your previous behaviors. Why? Because there was no conversation or apology, and the recipient/s of your bad behavior are likely operating in protective mode. That is the foundation, the frame, that you created by skipping over key steps and actions. You’re just driving around with your person or people, bumping along without that tire and wondering why the ride is so rough. Your passenger/s know… but you’re still pretending you’re in a new vehicle.

Our country, our government, our systems have this same issue. We have whole systems put into place that were born out of racism, classism, sexism, etc. The sentiments of our time may not be the same as they were then (we say), but the systems are still in place bringing with them into our present and our future the spirit, the energy, and the isms that put them there in the first place. That’s us gimping along in our polished shoes with the heel missing. We keep saying we’re fixing things, making them better, but we’re failing to recognize or acknowledge what got us here in the first place. We can keep shining those shoes, but until we go back and look at what’s missing, acknowledge that it’s broken, we are not going to fix it. Fixing it doesn’t mean that everyone gets to have shoes with broken heels, or cars with only three tires so that no one notices what’s wrong.

I think this is why we don’t like to discuss reparations for Black folks. This means we have to take accountability for the brokenness that we caused. This means we have to acknowledge that everything isn’t fair and equal now just because we marched and made new laws. This would mean we would have to acknowledge that we have a whole group of people that are severely affected still because 1. the life we forced them into was an unspeakable horror to begin with; 2. we are pretending that we made it right with laws; 3. we refuse to look at the space we created and the foundation we keep polishing (original systems); 4. we think we apologized long ago; 5. we think they should be happy with shiny broken shoes.

You can always make a difference, but pretending and turning away will keep you stuck. If you’re stuck, you’re likely holding other people down with you or trying to keep them there with you. Don’t turn over a new leaf, plant a whole new garden.

  • Acknowledge what went wrong.
  • Take corrective action.
  • Make a commitment to do better or cease the hurtful behavior.
  • Stay in integrity; keep your word because you are a keeper of your word.