Tag Archives: false

When Politics Becomes a Team Sport

Voting by identity instead of values

We have a problem — and it’s us. We treat politics and government as binary, as if they were an either-or situation. You’re either this or that, with no room for nuance, complexity, or actual thought. That’s how we end up voting along party lines, like a team sport instead of choosing what aligns with our values or what might actually serve the whole. And this is why/how the Democrats continue to drift further right every cycle, and the Republicans continue to become more extreme every election cycle, and we become more polarized, tired, and confused. It’s intellectual laziness dressed up as political identity, and the politicians just become more feckless.

Here are examples of what I hear.

If you are pro-Second Amendment, you must be a Republican.

Millions of gun owners exist across multiple disciplines in the spectrum. And whether or not you’re a gun owner, when you question certain gun-control proposals, suddenly you’re accused of wanting children to die in schools, or you don’t care about the Second Amendment. Nuance? GONE.

If you believe in secure borders, you must be a right-wing nut job. OR You don’t believe in what ICE is doing, so you’re okay with illegals raping and murdering U.S. citizens.

It couldn’t possibly be that maybe you are a Republican, or you’re a Democrat, progressive, or independent who simply believes safety and humanity can coexist. In the either/or narrow world, you either want open borders or you’re a Marxist. There’s no room for the idea that security and compassion are not mutually exclusive. (Commentary on ICE is a whole issue of horrors on its own, as well as all “illegals” being criminals.)

If you are a Republican, you must have voted for Trump.

Because apparently no Republican with a functioning brain could ever make another choice. Again, nuance? Nope.

If you didn’t vote for Kamala Harris, you must be a closet Republican or you hate Black women.

Or if you didn’t vote for Hillary Clinton, you must hate women in general and simply don’t want a woman as President. The possibility that their policies weren’t compelling enough — and that the DNC continues to fumble — is never considered.

If you supported Zohran Mamdani in the New York City mayoral race, you are a communist or want New York to turn into a Muslim state.

It couldn’t be that you want corruption out of politics, or that you want a city that works for everyone. No — you must be a radical jihadist.

If you want law enforcement reform, defunding, or abolition, you are okay with murderers and rapists running free.

It’s reasonable that a system with a foundation rooted in slave patrols has evolved into state‑sanctioned violence rather than community safety. Let’s talk about how we pour more funding into policing year after year, yet crime rates don’t drop enough, neighborhoods aren’t improving, and the abuses and atrocities continue. But imagining something better is apparently out of the question.

If you refuse to vote for a candidate because they refuse to condemn violence against Palestinians, you’re antisemitic, or a single-issue voter.

Genocide, anywhere and against anyone, is morally a full stop for many. It’s not about hate for an entire group, but being opposed to systems of oppression, suppression, and, frankly, crimes against humanity. If there is no line drawn there, my God, where is it then?

Every election, there is someone who tells me to f*ck off because I don’t bow to the DNC like them, or thinks that they can bully me into voting for the candidate that mainstream media says is “the one.”

This is the nonsense that got us into our current mess, and why we are in this disgusting political situation. Some of us have been warning (screaming!) about what was coming for years, while others sat back, ignored the signs, and — even without realizing it — voted for the very outcomes they feared. Someone once said to me, “You better vote for ______________.” I remember thinking, Or what? What are you going to do? Revoke my citizenship? Snub my Constitutional right to vote? Stop talking to me? Get out of here. People who claim to know me (should) understand that ultimatums without evidence are pointless, and bullying is the fastest way to make me stop taking anything you say after that seriously.

If you dare criticize a politician from your own party, suddenly you’re the unhinged one.

We’ll fight tooth and nail against the atrocities of “the other side,” yet somehow develop complete cognitive dissonance when it comes to our own favorites and eat our own for daring to call out their wrongdoings.

People don’t want to take the time to follow the money, the votes, the practices that count.

They don’t track how their “favorites” actually vote in Congress. They won’t take the time to look up where their donations are from. They’ll cheer a lengthy, fiery, made‑for‑camera speech on the House floor, then ignore the fact that the same representative turns around and votes against their interests. We don’t build the habit of holding elected officials accountable, and we certainly don’t develop the muscle memory to remember their records. Sometimes I wonder if this same pattern shows up in people’s personal lives too — trusting leaders who rely on apathy, convenience, or complacency to get away with things they shouldn’t.

I’m having a hard time even finding folks engaged enough to sign a petition.

It literally doesn’t get any easier than that. Someone once told me it was “too much reading.”

“I don’t know much about politics, but I’m voting for Gavin Newsom for President because he’s so good looking.”

A woman once told me this while we were waiting together, and there are other similar instances where this sentiment prevails. This level of engagement is concerning. I’ll admit I get a kick out of his snarky posts on X, but that’s not what earns my vote.

The “Gotcha!” Conversations

“If you say this, then you must be that” is a tired conversation, not a flex. We’re in a political culture that’s forgotten how to think, afraid to question, and unable or maybe unwilling to imagine beyond the either/or commentary. We’ve become lazy voters — quick to embrace our favorites, but willing to ignore their failures, their records, or face challenging, inconvenient facts when they surface.

Now we're here — stuck with a festering boil of a narcissist in the White House, taking a chainsaw to our democratic experiment, shredding the Constitution, the Bill of Rights, and every amendment he can get his hands on, while we stand around daring to wonder how it all went so wrong.
Recent conversation with someone who seems to believe that
belonging to a political party makes you a monolith.

Reject The Summons To A False Dilemma

 “If you’re not with me, then you’re against me!” 

We take sides in family, friendships, politics, the workplace, and more!  Often, we even take pride and puff out our chests at the divide of which we are at the root, when often we probably should be hiding our faces at the damage we have done – often irreparable.  Sometimes we get so wound up in it that we can’t get out, and we collect other accomplices and victims in our ball of twine as we wind up to make sure we are not in it alone.  Then we assume that those who won’t join us are therefore on the opposing side.  Is it worth it?  Does it make us better individuals or life better when we support another person, group, idea, etc., so vehemently that relationships fall into a cavern of uncertainty or spiral down into oblivion?  Did we actually provide a measurable service for anyone?  Or, was it all done for a power-feed for our own ego or other personal gain?
Sure, sometimes we find we must let someone or something go (bad match, matters of safety, etc.), but that is not what I am talking about.  So as not to justify butting in where we don’t belong, or so obtrusively inserting ourselves where we aren’t needed, I am specifically talking about occasions and instances where we are an outside party and  have an opportunity to take a step back and “assist” only if asked.  I am talking about times where a difference could actually be made by our absence and by keeping our mouths closed – where showing our support would look more like keeping our personal thoughts in our heads vs. putting them into someone else’s space.  I am also talking about how allowing the outcome to be whatever it is going to be without interjecting or injecting our personal selves into it where matters do not require our attendance, literally or figuratively.

 There is always more… or none! 
 Truth – this is hard to do sometimes!  It is so easy to get caught up, especially if it involves someone/something/a group that we love or despise.  We want to take sides!  Sometimes we think we have to take sides.  But do we have to?  Instead of jumping right in, how different might the outcome be if we first took some time to assess the need for us to insert ourselves in some way, and then just opted out instead?  Or in the case of family and friends, what if we just waited to be asked for assistance or advice, and then still only gave what was actually needed vs. what we personally felt?  We might stop here to consider that when we think we are helping someone with our opinions that we might actually be putting that person in an uncomfortable position with us!  They might really love us so much that they won’t say anything in order to avoid offending us.  It happens!  From there may come avoidance, distrust, dishonesty… you get the picture.  Or, you may just get an earful, and then what?  Once you have inserted yourself as someone’s steadfast ally, what will you do if they change their mind and go a different direction than what you want for them?  How are you now going to react and respond with their once-opposing side, or yet another new choice?

What I am suggesting here is to think way ahead before you jump in feet first, eyes closed, and mouth open if you are considering taking sides with someone or on something.  Once you choose sides you are dividing more than just the two entities in question.  Your energy in the matter will cause a wake.  There is more than one way to show your love and commitment to your person, cause, or group, and it does not always have to mean making the “other side” appear wrong.  Do not expect everyone to jump on board with you if you choose to take sides; and when someone chooses not to, do not fall for the false dilemma that just because they aren’t “with you” that they are “against you.”  Do not actualize an enemy or opponent where there was none.  They may simply realize they have other options, as do you.

 Here’s an idea!