Voting by identity instead of values
We have a problem — and it’s us. We treat politics and government as binary, as if they were an either-or situation. You’re either this or that, with no room for nuance, complexity, or actual thought. That’s how we end up voting along party lines, like a team sport instead of choosing what aligns with our values or what might actually serve the whole. And this is why/how the Democrats continue to drift further right every cycle, and the Republicans continue to become more extreme every election cycle, and we become more polarized, tired, and confused. It’s intellectual laziness dressed up as political identity, and the politicians just become more feckless.
Here are examples of what I hear.
If you are pro-Second Amendment, you must be a Republican.
Millions of gun owners exist across multiple disciplines in the spectrum. And whether or not you’re a gun owner, when you question certain gun-control proposals, suddenly you’re accused of wanting children to die in schools, or you don’t care about the Second Amendment. Nuance? GONE.
If you believe in secure borders, you must be a right-wing nut job. OR You don’t believe in what ICE is doing, so you’re okay with illegals raping and murdering U.S. citizens.
It couldn’t possibly be that maybe you are a Republican, or you’re a Democrat, progressive, or independent who simply believes safety and humanity can coexist. In the either/or narrow world, you either want open borders or you’re a Marxist. There’s no room for the idea that security and compassion are not mutually exclusive. (Commentary on ICE is a whole issue of horrors on its own, as well as all “illegals” being criminals.)
If you are a Republican, you must have voted for Trump.
Because apparently no Republican with a functioning brain could ever make another choice. Again, nuance? Nope.
If you didn’t vote for Kamala Harris, you must be a closet Republican or you hate Black women.
Or if you didn’t vote for Hillary Clinton, you must hate women in general and simply don’t want a woman as President. The possibility that their policies weren’t compelling enough — and that the DNC continues to fumble — is never considered.

If you supported Zohran Mamdani in the New York City mayoral race, you are a communist or want New York to turn into a Muslim state.
It couldn’t be that you want corruption out of politics, or that you want a city that works for everyone. No — you must be a radical jihadist.
If you want law enforcement reform, defunding, or abolition, you are okay with murderers and rapists running free.
It’s reasonable that a system with a foundation rooted in slave patrols has evolved into state‑sanctioned violence rather than community safety. Let’s talk about how we pour more funding into policing year after year, yet crime rates don’t drop enough, neighborhoods aren’t improving, and the abuses and atrocities continue. But imagining something better is apparently out of the question.
If you refuse to vote for a candidate because they refuse to condemn violence against Palestinians, you’re antisemitic, or a single-issue voter.
Genocide, anywhere and against anyone, is morally a full stop for many. It’s not about hate for an entire group, but being opposed to systems of oppression, suppression, and, frankly, crimes against humanity. If there is no line drawn there, my God, where is it then?
Every election, there is someone who tells me to f*ck off because I don’t bow to the DNC like them, or thinks that they can bully me into voting for the candidate that mainstream media says is “the one.”
This is the nonsense that got us into our current mess, and why we are in this disgusting political situation. Some of us have been warning (screaming!) about what was coming for years, while others sat back, ignored the signs, and — even without realizing it — voted for the very outcomes they feared. Someone once said to me, “You better vote for ______________.” I remember thinking, Or what? What are you going to do? Revoke my citizenship? Snub my Constitutional right to vote? Stop talking to me? Get out of here. People who claim to know me (should) understand that ultimatums without evidence are pointless, and bullying is the fastest way to make me stop taking anything you say after that seriously.
If you dare criticize a politician from your own party, suddenly you’re the unhinged one.
We’ll fight tooth and nail against the atrocities of “the other side,” yet somehow develop complete cognitive dissonance when it comes to our own favorites and eat our own for daring to call out their wrongdoings.
People don’t want to take the time to follow the money, the votes, the practices that count.
They don’t track how their “favorites” actually vote in Congress. They won’t take the time to look up where their donations are from. They’ll cheer a lengthy, fiery, made‑for‑camera speech on the House floor, then ignore the fact that the same representative turns around and votes against their interests. We don’t build the habit of holding elected officials accountable, and we certainly don’t develop the muscle memory to remember their records. Sometimes I wonder if this same pattern shows up in people’s personal lives too — trusting leaders who rely on apathy, convenience, or complacency to get away with things they shouldn’t.
I’m having a hard time even finding folks engaged enough to sign a petition.
It literally doesn’t get any easier than that. Someone once told me it was “too much reading.”
“I don’t know much about politics, but I’m voting for Gavin Newsom for President because he’s so good looking.”
A woman once told me this while we were waiting together, and there are other similar instances where this sentiment prevails. This level of engagement is concerning. I’ll admit I get a kick out of his snarky posts on X, but that’s not what earns my vote.
The “Gotcha!” Conversations
“If you say this, then you must be that” is a tired conversation, not a flex. We’re in a political culture that’s forgotten how to think, afraid to question, and unable or maybe unwilling to imagine beyond the either/or commentary. We’ve become lazy voters — quick to embrace our favorites, but willing to ignore their failures, their records, or face challenging, inconvenient facts when they surface.
Now we're here — stuck with a festering boil of a narcissist in the White House, taking a chainsaw to our democratic experiment, shredding the Constitution, the Bill of Rights, and every amendment he can get his hands on, while we stand around daring to wonder how it all went so wrong.

belonging to a political party makes you a monolith.